The unresolved problem of plausibility and coincidence
Up to the present, some of the problems inherent in crime fiction have remained unsolved (and possibly also insoluble). Some of them can be dismissed with a shrug: Why bother at all, even if it is obvious to everyone that an ordinary person is not likely to keep stumbling across corpses? After all, this is just part of the game of crime fiction. Still the fact that an old spinster like Miss Marple meets with an estimated two bodies per year does raise a few doubts as to the plausibility of the Miss Marple mysteries. De Andrea has described the quiet little village of St Mary Mead as having "put on a pageant of human depravity rivaled only by that of Sodom and Gomorrah". Similarly, TV heroine Jessica Fletcher is confronted with bodies wherever she goes, but over the years people who have met violent deaths have also piled up in the streets of Cabot Cove, Maine, the cosy little village where she lives. Generally, therefore, it is much more convincing if a policeman, private eye, forensic expert or similar professional is made the hero or heroine of a series of crime novels. On the other hand, who cares for authenticity?
Also, the role and legitimacy of coincidence has frequently been the topic of heated arguments ever since Knox categorically stated that "no accident must ever help the detective" (Commandment No.6). Yet time and again authors resort to that deus ex machina-sort of device. Is it just because they have to meet their publisher's deadline and cannot think of any other ending to their latest novel? Or is it because they are mediocre writers in the first place? Or is one coincidence per novel acceptable now? A special case of illogical plotting seems to be the murderers' reluctance to kill off the hero or heroine of the story: Even serial killers, who normally do not hesitate for a second to kill an innocent bystander if they happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, show a lot of scruples when it comes to ridding themselves of their most dangerous -- and ultimate -- enemy, even if he or she is already in their power. Instead of killing him or her right on the spot -- in the manner in which they bumped off all their previous victims -- , they keep putting off the execution until it is too late and they are outsmarted by their rival. In many cases, instead of just pulling the trigger, they embark on a lengthy discussion of their criminal record, detailing all their crimes -- no doubt mainly for the reader's benefit, but shouldn't a good author be able to think of other narrative devices that help the reader catch up on what they have missed so far?
Finally, it must be said that technological progress has rendered many of the plots implausible and antiquated. For example, the use of mobile phones by practically everyone these days, including the hoi polloi, has significantly altered the dangerous situations investigators have found themselves in lately. A snowbound mansion somewhere in the country, with a murderer at large? A deserted street in a slum area in the middle of the night, with dark figures looming in the distance? So what?! Get out your mobile and phone for help, for Christ's sake! Some authors have not really succeeded in adapting to the changes brought about by modern technology; others, among them Carl Hiaasen (born 1953), have. In Sick Puppy (1999), one of the characters is stuck on a desert island because, after his tongue has been shot off, a bulldozer has been parked on his legs. He desperately tries to phone for help using his mobile, and the following scene unfolds:
- CALLER: Hep meh! Peezh!
- DISPATCHER: Do you have an emergency?
- CALLER: Yeah, I gah a emoozhezhee! I gah a fugghy boo-gozer oh meh azzhhh!
- DISPATCHER: 'Boo-gozer'? Sir, I'm sorry, but you'll have to speak more clearly. This is Levy County Fire Rescue, do you have an emergency to report?
- CALLER: Yeah! Hep! Mah baggh is boge! Ah bing zzhaa eng mah fay! I ngee hep!
- DISPATCHER: Sir, do you speak English?
- CALLER: Eh izzh Engizh! Mah ung gaw zzha off! Whif ah gung!
- DISPATCHER: Hang on, Mr. Boogozer, I'm transferring you to someone who can take the information. ...
- CALLER: Ngooohh! Hep! Peezh!
- DISPATCHER TWO: Diga. ¿Dónde estás?
- CALLER: Aaaaaagghh!!!
- DISPATCHER TWO: ¿Tienes un emergencia?
- CALLER: Oh fugghh. I gaw die.
- DISPATCHER TWO: Señor, por favor, no entiendo nada que estás diciendo.
- CALLER: Hep! ... Hep!